Home Care Addresses Social Isolation Worries

Dignity Care - Home Care Addresses Social Isolation Worries

A recent Harvard School of Public Health study published in The American Journal of Public Health suggests that “strong social ties, through friends, family and community groups can preserve our brain health as we age and that social isolation may be an important risk factor for cognitive decline in the elderly.” The study also indicated that those elderly engaged in many social contacts had the slowest rate of memory decline.

home care social isolation

For elderly persons living alone, maintaining that social contact becomes extremely difficult.  Remaining in one’s home always seems like a wonderful goal but it can bring unintended consequences, the most common one being isolation.  The less able one is to get out and around (or drive), the more they stay at home, alone and out of touch, the fewer activities they are involved in, and the more they withdraw into themselves.  This hastens decline, both physically and mentally, which keeps them home even more – a vicious downward spiral.

Using in-home care services is one way to introduce people into their daily lives, and offer the possibility of connections and relationships.  Our caregivers often establish strong bonds with their clients, bonds that enrich both of their lives.  Although the caregiver starts out as a support and helper for the client, it is not unusual for the relationship to evolve into one where the caregiver is learning from the life stories of the client, where they both share laughs or worries about life, where the client can offer advice and wisdom.  The social contact becomes as important as the caregiving tasks that are getting completed.  The hours the caregivers spends in the house bring energy, connection, the outside world.  Caregivers help ward off the social isolation and the decline that comes with it.

 

Embarrassing Things People With Dementia Say

Dignity Care - Embarrassing Things People With Dementia Say

Many people with dementia lose their social filters and no longer understand what is or is not appropriate to say in public. They do not say embarrassing things intentionally but have indeed lost the lens they used to live with. You may have encountered situations like these: Person with Dementia upon hearing someone speaking a different language: “Speak English!” or they may use a racial slur to describe them.

I have seen and heard many elders using racial references that were, to say the least, disrespectful. It doesn’t necessarily mean the people are racist. Many of our elders grew up in much less diverse communities than we have today. They have simply lost whatever inhibitions they may have had. When they see someone of another ethnicity, they blurt out labels that they heard as youths, embarrassing everyone involved.

How to respond: One of my clients used to make these remarks frequently. He also had travelled a lot. I would apologize calmly to the person and then begin talking about what language I thought they might be speaking and what country they might be from, asking my client if he had ever been there on his travels. This could lead him into a conversation about travel. If the person, he was making the remark about was on staff at the nursing home I’d include them in the conversation.

Person with Dementia, generally a man pinches a woman or otherwise acts out sexually: “Nice butt!”

Stay calm and realize that this behavior is caused by the disease. Dementia has stripped your dad of his inhibitions and he really can’t help it. Try not to overreact from embarrassment.

How to respond: Calmly say, “That’s inappropriate, Dad,” or something to indicate that the action is not acceptable. It won’t help to scold, however. Apologize to the person affected and then if possible, move your dad away. Explain to the person that dad has Alzheimer’s and his actions are the result of the disease. If you can’t defuse the situation by moving him away, just allow the affected person to handle it. If it happens to a professional caregiver, they are trained to handle these situations.

When these and other uncomfortable situations occur, we are embarrassed for ourselves and for the person our elder once was. Learning that we aren’t alone in enduring this public embarrassment helps, Talk with other caregivers, either in person or online, for perspective and the chance to laugh about these situations. When we share our stories with people who understand, our pain and embarrassment doesn’t take on a life of its own. Try a caregiver forum, such as the one at AgingCare.com

aging care forum

Casey Kasem’s Caregiving Fiasco – Prepare with End of Life Planning

Dignity Care - Casey Kasems Caregiving Fiasco - Prepare with End of Life Planning

The bizarre family feud over who should take care of Casey Kasem and make decisions about his care was played out publicly and legally for several years until his death this month. His 3 children from a first marriage and his second wife fought vehemently in both the media and the courts over who should be able to make decisions, who was able to visit him, who was ultimately responsible for his care. His wife went as far as secretly moving him out of California and not letting the rest of his family know where he was.

Most families, even if they disagree about care for a parent, won’t go to such extremes as Kasem’s family. But family conflict is common and we can use Casey Kasem as a reminder that it’s worth taking the time to talk to the people around you about what’s important for you at the end of your life, or even in your later years.

Families need to talk and to understand what their parents want to have happen or not happen. Everyone involved should be part of this conversation so there is less chance down the road of someone disagreeing about what he thought Mom would want. Talk now when there is no crisis pressuring a decision. The Conversation Project in Boulder County offers an easy-to-use guide to get your family talking about how they want the end of their lives to look.

Here is a brief video explaining the Conversation Project and end of life planning –