Resources for Dementia – Dignity Care

Embarrassing Things People With Dementia Say

Many people with dementia lose their social filters and no longer understand what is or is not appropriate to say in public. They do not say embarrassing things intentionally but have indeed lost the lens they used to live with. You may have encountered situations like these: Person with Dementia upon hearing someone speaking a different language: “Speak English!” or they may use a racial slur to describe them.

I have seen and heard many elders using racial references that were, to say the least, disrespectful. It doesn’t necessarily mean the people are racist. Many of our elders grew up in much less diverse communities than we have today. They have simply lost whatever inhibitions they may have had. When they see someone of another ethnicity, they blurt out labels that they heard as youths, embarrassing everyone involved.

How to respond: One of my clients used to make these remarks frequently. He also had travelled a lot. I would apologize calmly to the person and then begin talking about what language I thought they might be speaking and what country they might be from, asking my client if he had ever been there on his travels. This could lead him into a conversation about travel. If the person, he was making the remark about was on staff at the nursing home I’d include them in the conversation.

Person with Dementia, generally a man pinches a woman or otherwise acts out sexually: “Nice butt!”

Stay calm and realize that this behavior is caused by the disease. Dementia has stripped your dad of his inhibitions and he really can’t help it. Try not to overreact from embarrassment.

How to respond: Calmly say, “That’s inappropriate, Dad,” or something to indicate that the action is not acceptable. It won’t help to scold, however. Apologize to the person affected and then if possible, move your dad away. Explain to the person that dad has Alzheimer’s and his actions are the result of the disease. If you can’t defuse the situation by moving him away, just allow the affected person to handle it. If it happens to a professional caregiver, they are trained to handle these situations.

When these and other uncomfortable situations occur, we are embarrassed for ourselves and for the person our elder once was. Learning that we aren’t alone in enduring this public embarrassment helps, Talk with other caregivers, either in person or online, for perspective and the chance to laugh about these situations. When we share our stories with people who understand, our pain and embarrassment doesn’t take on a life of its own. Try a caregiver forum, such as the one at AgingCare.com

When Caring For The Dementia Patient Is Hard On The Caregiver

When you are caring for someone with dementia, you need support. It isn’t something you can do alone without getting burned out quickly. There are other caregivers out there in similar situations who can share tips and ideas with you to make your days more manageable. There are local support groups as well as online blogs and forums. In fact, there are so many online options you can get lost in them and never get away from the computer screen. Pick a few that seem to work for you and stick with them. When I have a question about a specific problem, I usually go to the Alzheimer’s Association. For example, I get asked frequently how to deal with the constant questions from a person living with dementia? Here’s an entry from a site full of ideas, The Alzheimer’s Reading Room.

The author who shared her suggestions for dealing with those constant questions has her own blog about living with dementia, Dementia By Day. She is the coordinator of a memory care home and shares her stories and successes and observations. Her blog is great for caregivers or family members who are new to the world of dementia. One of her reminders to all of us caring for someone with dementia, which is my favorite, is “It’s never about the outcome when someone has dementia—it’s all about the process.”

Michele

caregivers dementia Senior Care

Alzheimer’s Caregiving – Rummaging Behavior

Rummaging and hoarding are common behaviors associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Although these actions may seem random and meaningless to the frustrated caregiver, rummaging actually serves a purpose in the middle stages of dementia. You won’t be able to stop the behavior but understanding what’s behind it may make it easier for you to cope with it.

I found a great description of what is happening on the blog The Dementia Queen.

“In the middle stages, rummaging is largely a coping mechanism for language deficits and the need to be repetitive. Once speech and comprehension skills decline, a person in the middle stages has to find another way to interact with the environment. Using her hands to explore the world is simply a function of survival- if she can’t tell you that she is hungry, then she will just start searching for food herself. Repetitive actions, such as pacing and saying the same word or phrase over and over again, is usually a behavior used by the person to relieve anxiety and search for reassurance.

It is also the case that people with Alzheimer’s in the moderate stage need to have meaning in their lives. They need to do something other than sit. They need to have control over something – because throughout their lives, they engaged in meaningful action to one or another degree and had some control over what they did or didn’t do.”

There are many websites with tips on how to approach caregiving for someone with dementia. HelpGuide.org is one of them.

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Alzheimers Senior Care

Exercising Seniors Hold Alzheimer’s At Bay

You have another excellent reason to get out and exercise. This time you are holding Alzheimer’s at bay. Research studies with seniors have looked at the impact of exercise on brain function or on its effects on slowing the progress of dementia. A recent study at the Cleveland Clinic looked at the actual physiology of the brain and found that the brains of people who exercise do not atrophy even if they are at high risk for Alzheimer’s.

As many as 1 in 4 of us can carry a specific gene – ApoE4 – that triples the risk of developing Alzheimer’s. Those are pretty bad odds, but the Cleveland Clinic followed people with this gene and found that those who exercised regularly showed no shrinkage of their hippocampus. In other words, even though they are at high risk for Alzheimer’s disease their brains looked just like the brains of people at much lower risk for the disease.

This link to an article about the study gives you more specifics about the extent of exercising you need to do to keep that gene under control.

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Alzheimers Dementia Care Exercise Senior Care

Traveling With Dementia

Having dementia doesn’t mean any more vacations or travels or trips. It just means you may have to plan more carefully ahead of time to ensure the comfort and safety of everyone in your group.

I was accompanying a client with dementia on a weekend trip and thought I was prepared for every possible situation – until we got to security at the airport. Our wheelchair escort had been ready for us at the airport door, zipped us onto the elevators, zipped us past the long line at security, zipped us up to the checkpoint. It all seemed too easy to be t

rue. Things fell apart when the escort zipped my client through one security checkpoint and left me to go through another, where as luck would have it I was pulled aside for an additional scan. My client was 50 feet away beginning to get agitated and I discovered that trying to explain to the TSA agent while she was doing the extra scanning was the wrong time to be talking. She wanted me to stand still and be quiet. Fortunately, I had nothing hidden on me and it didn’t take long before I was able to rescue my client from his agitation.

That was the one possible situation I hadn’t planned for. My takeaway lesson was not so much that I should have anticipated this possibility but more that I should have found ways to slow things down to a manageable speed. Even in the rush at security, I should have slowed our zippy escort and taken the minute to explain to the agents our situation. A few minutes of their time would have done wonders for us all.

Our trip turned out well and our airport experience on the way home was smooth, in large part because of lessons learned. And my constant reminder to myself to think ahead and exude calmness.

If you’re considering a vacation, weigh the pros and cons of the trip before you decide to go. Even though it sounds like a great idea at first, it may be too much for the person with dementia and a fun vacation could become a long disaster.

Take the time to think through all the details and plan for all sorts of contingencies. The extra effort upfront pays off when your trip goes smoothly with no hiccups. Here’s a great Travel Tip Sheet from the Alzheimer’s Association. In addition to being the beginning of vacation season, June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month.

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caregivers dementia travel