End-of-Life Decisions… this is a hard subject for most.
Continue readingEnd-Of-Life Decisions For Families
Dignity of Risk and Caring for an Elder
Growing old should not mean that you lose control of your daily life and all the decisions that go along with it. Yet too often that is exactly what happens. If you are a caregiver, have you ever heard yourself saying, “you NEED to use your walker, because you might fall”, “you need to drink that water”, “let me carry that for you or you might drop it”, and/or “don’t do that, you might fall”?
Even though the person has lived with and managed their risks all their adult life, suddenly everyone else is telling them what they can and can’t do. However, this is based on what? Safety? For what end, hanging around waiting to die?
There is a wonderful concept called “The Dignity of Risk”, which acknowledges that life experiences come with risk. It explains that we must respect a person’s self-determination and right to allow them to make their own choices about which experiences are worth a risk.
I understand that there is an issue of safety here. I’m not saying ignore the risks. However, I’d like to see risks balanced more thoughtfully against the person’s preferences for how they want to live their days and what they do or do not want to do. They’ve been making decisions all their life about what they choose to do, what they want to try, what they want to eat, etc. They weighed the risks of eating fast food, of skiing, of taking a new job, and/or buying lottery tickets. They deserve our respect and support in continuing to make their choices.
As caregivers, I’d encourage us to allow the elders we work with, or are related to, to live their lives as independently and freely as possible. Listen to their priorities and concerns. Help them think through their decisions. Yes, there is that pesky risk factor, but how does it weigh against the dignity of their life and the loss of life experiences? They have the right to choose their risks. Let’s support them in that.
Caregivers Forced to Choose Between Caring for a Loved One and a Job
At least 42 percent of U.S. workers have been caregivers for aging loved ones in the last five years. In fact, most family caregivers work full or part-time while caring for their parent, spouse, aunt, uncle, or other loved one.
The majority (68 percent) of family caregivers report making work accommodations because of caregiving duties including: arriving late/leaving early or taking time off, cutting back on work hours, changing jobs or stopping work entirely.
If this is you, you understand the challenge of juggling work and caregiving. You’ll want to know that AARP is fighting for workplace flexibility, like family leave or paid or unpaid sick leave, to support family caregivers as they balance work and caregiving responsibilities. AARP is pushing for legislation that would:
- Let employees use their existing sick time to help care for a family member; or
- Give employees a few hours of unpaid time each year to help care for their loved ones; or
- Allow employees unpaid leave to take their loved ones to the doctor, in the same way 15 states allow employees to take unpaid time off to attend parent-teacher conferences and school events.
Video from AARP –
Medication Tips For Seniors – Caregiver Information
Did you know that nearly one-third of the population has difficulty swallowing pills? Most people don’t swallow pills correctly. This often results in gagging, choking, and vomiting, which usually results in people not taking their medications at all, or not taking the recommended dosage, which then results in a need for later additional medical care.
If you are caring for a senior who has trouble swallowing their pills, here are some medication tips and some good news. Researchers have found new techniques that make pill-popping easier, even for large pills.
German researchers recently tested two methods of swallowing pills and found that 80% of the time these methods worked better than the normal way of taking a pill. The first is the “pop-bottle method,” and it makes tablets go down with ease. The second is the “lean-forward technique,” which sends capsules straight down the throat. Both have been rigorously tested by 151 volunteers who swallowed numerous dummy pills for the sake of science. And now they are being shared with the world via their publication in the Annals of Family Medicine.
Read about each method so you can try it yourself or have the senior you are caring for try it. Just may make life a little easier for you both.
When Caring For The Dementia Patient Is Hard On The Caregiver
When you are caring for someone with dementia, you need support. It isn’t something you can do alone without getting burned out quickly. There are other caregivers out there in similar situations who can share tips and ideas with you to make your days more manageable. There are local support groups as well as online blogs and forums. In fact, there are so many online options you can get lost in them and never get away from the computer screen. Pick a few that seem to work for you and stick with them. When I have a question about a specific problem, I usually go to the Alzheimer’s Association. For example, I get asked frequently how to deal with the constant questions from a person living with dementia? Here’s an entry from a site full of ideas, The Alzheimer’s Reading Room.
The author who shared her suggestions for dealing with those constant questions has her own blog about living with dementia, Dementia By Day. She is the coordinator of a memory care home and shares her stories and successes and observations. Her blog is great for caregivers or family members who are new to the world of dementia. One of her reminders to all of us caring for someone with dementia, which is my favorite, is “It’s never about the outcome when someone has dementia—it’s all about the process.”
Michele
Spouses Provide Complex Care At Home
Spouses taking care of one another during illness seems a natural part of an intimate relationship. However, the reality is that spouses are assuming the caregiving responsibility over long periods of time and with little or no help from professionals or other family members.
If you compare spouses to adult children taking care of a parent at home, you might say that the spouse is better off as a caregiver. This is because they have fewer competing responsibilities than caregivers who may also have young children or teenagers at home, plus a full-time job. However, this apparent advantage is offset by financial issues, health problems, and other limitations. Plus, not to forget the stresses of constant caregiving.
Additionally, add to that the fact that family caregivers are expected to do tasks that in the past were done in a hospital or nursing home. In this era of complicated medication regimens, wound care, and procedures associated with complex chronic conditions, caregiving is a challenge that no one should have to face alone.
Home care agencies like Dignity Care, licensed as a Class A agency with registered nurses, are a perfect support for family caregivers who need just a little (or a lot) of extra help and expertise.
AARP’s Public Policy Institute has produced a collection of studies and reports on family caregivers that are well worth a read.
Traveling With Dementia
Having dementia doesn’t mean any more vacations or travels or trips. It just means you may have to plan more carefully ahead of time to ensure the comfort and safety of everyone in your group.
I was accompanying a client with dementia on a weekend trip and thought I was prepared for every possible situation – until we got to security at the airport. Our wheelchair escort had been ready for us at the airport door, zipped us onto the elevators, zipped us past the long line at security, zipped us up to the checkpoint. It all seemed too easy to be t
rue. Things fell apart when the escort zipped my client through one security checkpoint and left me to go through another, where as luck would have it I was pulled aside for an additional scan. My client was 50 feet away beginning to get agitated and I discovered that trying to explain to the TSA agent while she was doing the extra scanning was the wrong time to be talking. She wanted me to stand still and be quiet. Fortunately, I had nothing hidden on me and it didn’t take long before I was able to rescue my client from his agitation.
That was the one possible situation I hadn’t planned for. My takeaway lesson was not so much that I should have anticipated this possibility but more that I should have found ways to slow things down to a manageable speed. Even in the rush at security, I should have slowed our zippy escort and taken the minute to explain to the agents our situation. A few minutes of their time would have done wonders for us all.
Our trip turned out well and our airport experience on the way home was smooth, in large part because of lessons learned. And my constant reminder to myself to think ahead and exude calmness.
If you’re considering a vacation, weigh the pros and cons of the trip before you decide to go. Even though it sounds like a great idea at first, it may be too much for the person with dementia and a fun vacation could become a long disaster.
Take the time to think through all the details and plan for all sorts of contingencies. The extra effort upfront pays off when your trip goes smoothly with no hiccups. Here’s a great Travel Tip Sheet from the Alzheimer’s Association. In addition to being the beginning of vacation season, June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month.